Lincoln's Gingerbread Men

During one of the Lincoln-Douglas debates, Abraham Lincoln told a story about gingerbread men. When he was a child, his mother made some gingerbread men and gave three of them to Abe. He took them outside, where he ran into a neighbor boy. Being a generous person, Abe gave the boy one of the cookies. The boy shoved it in his mouth and immediately asked for another. Lincoln handed another cookie over to the boy, who said something about how no one ever loved gingerbread so much and got so little of it.

I first heard that story when I was a kid, when my dad read it to me from the classic children's book Abraham Lincoln by Ingri and Edgar Parin d'Aulaire. Ever since then, I've associated gingerbread men with Abraham Lincoln. (I mean, I don't solely associate them with him, but when I think of gingerbread men outside the context of Christmas, it's usually because of him).

So I decided that for Lincoln's birthday this year, I would make some gingerbread men--but not just any gingerbread men. These guys were going to be authentic.

See, whenever I'd envisioned this story, I imagined regular ol' gingerbread men, like the Christmas kind, but possibly without decorations. It wasn't until I read the book Abraham Lincoln in the Kitchen by Rae Katherine Eighmey that I realized Lincoln's childhood cookies were far different from the ones we think of today.

Ingredients, kitchen utensils, and "appliances" would have made it unlikely that Nancy Lincoln's cookies would resemble the flat, uniform cut-outs we think of today. She wouldn't have had an oven and cookie sheets; her baking would have been done in a Dutch oven over a fire. She likely didn't have something as superfluous as a man-shaped cookie cutter. She wouldn't have had baking soda.

So Eighmey, a cook and historian, used clues and research to create a recipe she thinks better resembles the cookies Lincoln would have had (although she does substitute baking soda for the pearl ash the Lincolns would have used, and adjusted the amount of ginger based on modern availability and storage methods).

When Lincoln recounted the story, he said that his mother used sorghum in the cookies. Eighmey thought this was unusual since most gingerbread recipes of the era called for molasses (as they do today). Eighmey's recipe calls for sorghum syrup or molasses, and although I really wanted to try it with the sorghum syrup, I was unable to locate any locally. So I used molasses.

Anyway, once the dough is made, you roll out snakes of it and form people like you might with Play-Doh. In a way this was preferable to the usual rolling-and-cutting method because I hate rolling dough flat. Also, my kids could easily help me without any fights over the cookie cutter.

Here is Eighmey's recipe:

Gingerbread Men

1/2 c milk
1/2 c sorghum syrup or light or dark molasses
3 1/3 c unbleached all-purpose flour
2 tbsp packed brown sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tbsp ground ginger
1/2 c (1 stick) cold salted butter

I'm going to paraphrase the instructions.

Pour the milk and syrup/molasses into a measuring cup and mix together.

Mix the dry ingredients in a bowl, then add the butter (in small pieces) and cut it into the flour mixture with forks or a pastry cutter. Then add the liquid and mix with a spoon or fork. I wound up stirring, then kneading it.

Take a golf-ball-sized piece of dough and work it into a long thin "snake," the circumference of a pencil and about a foot long. Break off a 4" piece and set it aside. Take the remaining piece and fold it in half, giving it a twist about an inch down. That forms the head and legs (sort of like a corn-husk doll, if you've ever made one of those). Then take the 4" strip and place it behind the "neck" to make arms. Pinch it down a little to secure it.

Bake at 325 for about 15 minutes. (I considered trying these in my Dutch oven but thought better of it.)

The recipe says it will make about 18 men, but we wound up with 24, probably because my 5-year-old, 8-year-old, and I aren't very good at measuring.

Are these the most gorgeous cookies you've ever seen? No. Are they the least? Quite possibly. I'm sure Mrs. Lincoln was far better at this. (Also, I'm not going to lie: There were several poop jokes made during the rolling-out process. Understandably.)

I worried that the cookie dough, being warm from all the handling, would spread into a giant mess in the oven, but they held their shapes beautifully and puffed more than they spread.

The final result was crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. They're not very sweet and not very gingery, but they're actually pretty good--almost refreshing. These won't replace my normal Christmastime gingerbread cookies, but I'd definitely make them again for Presidents Day or something.

Be sure to check out my other presidential gingerbread recipes: Dolley Madison's and Washington/Lafayette's. If you make any of them, let me know what you think.

Herbert Hoover's Letters to Kids

A couple months ago I was listening to the Herbert Hoover episode of the DC Improv's "Headliner of State" podcast, a search for the funniest president of all time. The guest on that particular episode was Tom Schwartz, director of the Herbert Hoover Library and Museum.

Through most of the interview, Hoover came off seeming like a good humored person, but not necessarily a humorous person. Toward the end of the interview, though, there emerged a glimmer of Hoover's funnier side.

Almost as an afterthought Schwartz mentioned this book of correspondence with children that Hoover had published after he retired. One of the letters asked if he thought a woman would ever be president. Hoover responded, "As a generalization, the men have not done too good a job of government in the world in the last forty-seven years, and the chances for the women are thereby increased."

In another letter a child asked if Hoover had traveled much as president. He answered,

Presidents must travel in order to learn what the people have in mind and to explain their policies. 

However, travel has improved for Presidents. George Washington required five or six days to go with horses from New York to Washington. Presidents today can do it now in one hour by jet. But jets go over the heads of people--like some of the speeches.

That's good stuff! That's funny!

I decided I needed a copy of this book, Herbert Hoover: On Growing Up.

As it happened, I had already been planning a trip to the Hoover Museum in West Branch, Iowa, because I needed to pick up the Hoover-themed 2016 White House Christmas Ornament, and why order it online when I can drive three hours to get it in person? I added the book to my shopping list.

A week or so later, my 5-year-old and I made the trip out to West Branch. Once we were done with the exhibits we headed to the gift shop where I eagerly perused the various books about Hoover, but I didn't see On Growing Up. I asked the woman working there if they have it, and not only did she say no, she seemed baffled that I'd even ask.

Maybe that's because when I looked it up on Amazon later that afternoon, I learned that On Growing Up was last printed in 1962. Luckily, though, I was able to snag a used copy in excellent condition for about $7 shipped.

When the book finally arrived, I was a bit underwhelmed. It's not a long book--around 150 pages, with a short letter or two on each page. However, it did serve as an interesting glimpse into Hoover's mind.

Most of these letters were sent and received well after Hoover had been president, so we're not talking about the Depression-era Hoover; we're talking about the Cold War-era Hoover. The letters serve as an excellent snapshot of America in the 1950s, especially with a chid's letter that actually uses both the words "golly" and "gee." Hoover talks a lot about Communism (specifically about avoiding it), but he also gets in some digs that show he was clearly still stinging from the way he was treated in re: the Depression.

It's not all politics, though. In fact, most of it isn't politics. One definitely gets the sense that Hoover felt wistful for his boyhood days, and stresses to children that they should focus more on having fun and getting a good education than on the problems of the world. While he sometimes comes across as "elder statesman imparting wisdom for the ages," he mostly comes across as "old guy next door who likes fishing." It's like this book could be titled Chicken Soup for the Cold War Child's Soul.

Although Hoover didn't have an easy childhood (he was orphaned at a young age and was sent to live with relatives on the other side of the country), he speaks with fondness about his early days in Iowa: sledding, doing chores on the farm, etc. We also learn some interesting random facts, like how his childhood idol was Abraham Lincoln.

In order to maintain the innocence of childhood, Hoover is vehemently opposed to children learning "Social Studies," although he does believe in the value of geography and learning about other presidents. In many letters, children ask about some pressing world issue, and Hoover basically tells them to go play baseball and leave the problems to adults. In some instances, though, he gives rather detailed answers.

An eighth-grader named Mary Lou asked for Hoover's opinions on military censorship, federal aid to education, and socialized medicine. Hoover responded that some amount of military censorship is necessary for national security; that the federal government should build schools in poor areas but should not pay teachers' salaries because once they get involved financially, eventually the federal government will tell local schools what to teach; and that socialism is bad and leads to dictatorships and a loss of freedom. Some debates never change.

Also, for a guy who thinks kids shouldn't worry about grown-up problems, he nonetheless (inadvertently, I'm sure) plants seeds of concerns, like with the kid who said, "Today the big problem is the Atom and Space." Hoover replied, "I do not agree that the whole problem today concerns the atom bomb and space. Those are only parts of a larger problem--the determination of the Communists to rule the world." I'm sure Linda slept a lot better after that.

As it turns out, the two examples cited in the podcast were probably the funniest responses Hoover gave, but there were some other decent ones. In one response, he talks about the time a professional autograph-hunter asked him for three autographs. When Hoover inquired why, he was told, "It takes two of yours to get one of Babe Ruth."

There's also the 1919 response in which he lists the family pets, including two dogs, 11 goldfish, three frogs, and "1,000,000 mosquitoes."

A girl named Kathleen writes that although most children want to be president, she wants to be a doctor. Hoover responds, "I am glad you want to be a doctor and not President. We do not have enough doctors, and there seems to be a sufficient number of candidates for President."

The funniest part of the book might have come from one of the children writing to Hoover. A boy named Michael addressed his letter to the "Walled Off Hotel." (Hoover spent his last years living at the Waldorf Astoria in New York.)

On Growing Up offers a unique and approachable look at Hoover's life in general, but it also gives a taste of a changing America. It's definitely worth a read for anyone interested in mid-20th-century politics and culture.

More Humorous Presidential Artwork

By now it should be obvious that apparently I'm a sucker for artwork of president-animal mashups, whether the animals are living cephalopods on (vice) presidents' heads or dead pigs in presidents' arms.

While browsing Etsy recently, I found two more artists combining presidents and animals.

The first has a shop called PreZOOdents. These pieces mainly play off puns made with the presidents' names, like Benjamin Bearison or James Toucanon. That's amusing, and the pictures are cute, but they don't really look like the people they represent. I had just about decided these pictures weren't for me and was about to give up, but then I found...

Gopher Cleveland.

And I laughed.

Then I noticed John Squidsy Adams and laughed again, especially because at first glance I didn't realize it was a squid.

(Also, just now I accidentally typed "gland" instead of "glance," which I'm sure was not a Freudian slip in any way.)

I admit I was also tickled by Chinchillary Clinton and Dodonald Trump. (Figuratively tickled, not literally. Ew.)

I also appreciate that the artist has included some Founding Fathers and Mothers, like Crabigail Adams.

I would definitely consider buying some of those for myself and my weird friends.

The second artist I found has a shop called Pet Presidents. Instead of playing off presidents' names, this artist seems to focus more on physical features...and it works in an almost creepy (but good-creepy) way.

Check out Andrew Jackson as a lion.

I mean, it looks like him, right? (It's also likely a play on Andrew Jackson as the "American Lion")

And William Henry Harrison as a bloodhound.

And Franklin Pierce as a freaking ferret!

It almost makes me wonder why I'd never thought of him that way before.

Lincoln as a giraffe?

Totally works. The eyes!

I will say that I mistook the John Quincy Adams owl for James Buchanan, because that looks exactly like James Buchanan.

So who's buying one for above their couch?

I haven't received any products from these artists, nor have I even been in touch with them (yet), so the only benefit I get from sharing these is the sense of contentment knowing that I've enriched your lives just a little bit.

If you know of any artists doing cool stuff with presidents (with or without animals), let me know.

Millard Fillmore Presidential Library/Bar

A while back I mentioned that I was listening to the DC Improv's podcast about finding the funniest president of all time. Shortly after I wrote that post, I heard the Millard Fillmore episode, in which the host interviews the two guys behind the (surprisingly popular) Millard Fillmore Twitter account. One of the guys mentioned that next time he's in Cleveland, he wants to check out the Millard Fillmore Presidential Library.

For a second I was very confused, and I could sense the host was, too. Ohio has birthed and housed lots of presidents, but Fillmore isn't one of them. Then Fillmore's alter ego explained, "It's a bar."

Well, the second I got home, I googled the place, and sure enough, there's a relatively new bar in Cleveland called the Millard Fillmore Presidential Library. Their awning says, "The nourishment is palatable," a nod to Fillmore's supposed last words. Their phone number ends in WHIG.

I was overwhelmed with excitement to learn this place existed, but also disappointed because I had just been in Cleveland a couple weeks before and could have gone.

Luckily, though, I found myself in Cleveland again this past week, and I was determined to make it to the Fillmore to check it out.

According to some of the reviews I'd read, it tends to get pretty crowded, especially when there's live music. Due to my tight schedule, though, my friend Becky and I arrived just before they opened at 4:00 on a Thursday afternoon. As one might suspect, it was not crowded at 4:00 on a Thursday afternoon.

We snapped a few photos, then headed inside. The first thing I noticed was a giant photo of Millard Fillmore on one of the walls, so I had Becky take a picture of me with it. I initially did a thing where I tried to cup his face with my hands, but Becky thought it was too weird to photograph.

Then we headed over to the bar, and I asked the owner (whose name I never got) if he had any special Millard Fillmore-themed drinks. He said he did: The Fillmore Manhattan, which is a Manhattan with shots of Grand Marnier and Jagermeister.

I told him instead of a Manhattan, he should call it a Buffalo.

I thought I was very clever, but then I realized people probably make that joke all the time. Then I realized, no, people probably don't.

Anyway, Manhattans aren't my thing, but when in Rome (or Cleveland, or Buffalo) you get the Fillmore Manhattan. The first sip kind of threw me because it was strong but after that I really enjoyed it. It was more than palatable.

I'm not generally very gregarious around people I don't know, but I also have a very low tolerance for alcohol and hadn't eaten all day, so after a few sips I was chatting up the owner and probably scaring him a little.

I asked the obvious question: "Why Millard Fillmore?" He kind of shrugged as if to say, "Why not," said he thought it was a good choice since Fillmore was neither Democrat nor Republican. Fair enough.

I told him about this blog, and I also told him about the guy who paints octopuses on vice presidents' heads. I had actually told the Veeptopus guy that he should send one of his Fillmore paintings to the bar, and I think he's planning on it. So I told the owner to be on the lookout.

The Veeptopus painting would go well with the other Fillmore- and president-inspired artwork around the bar.

See the books? Totally counts as a library.

There are some other amusing Fillmore-touches around the place, too, like the Abigail Fillmore sign on the ladies' room.

I asked the owner if he had any more of the stickers that lined the windows. He said he had sold out of them, but when I looked disappointed he said he'd dig around and try to find one, which he did. Yay!

I told Mr. Presidentressor I'm going to stick it on our bedroom window and I think he thinks I'm kidding.

Eventually our friend Amy met up with us, and she took a selfie with Franklin Pierce, who's her son's favorite president. (That's actually Becky in the photo, not Amy.)

We left to go to dinner before it got too late, so I can't say what it's like when things get hopping. I enjoyed it though, and I'll be sure to go back if/when I'm in Cleveland again. The bar has only been open for about 18 months, but I certainly hope it becomes a fixture. The owner said they recently had a birthday party for Fillmore and lots of people attended, so that's good to hear. (I was also bummed that I hadn't timed things a bit differently to be able to attend. Maybe next year.) Bottom line: All presidents should have libraries like this one.

Warren G. Harding Doll

A few months ago I mentioned that I crochet and that I had made some replica Ida McKinley slippers. Slippers are well and good when your feet are cold, but what about when you want to crochet something less useful?

For a while now I've wanted to crochet a set of presidential dolls, but I wasn't sure how to go about it. Sure, I could probably figure it out on my own, but I didn't want to. I also didn't want to buy a pattern for, say, a Golden Girl and then need to modify it. What I wanted was a set of instructions that I could customize as needed, but that had most of the information there. Then I stumbled upon exactly what I needed: A book called AmiguruME by Allison Hoffman, the person who made the Golden Girls pattern.

Basically the book walks you through the steps of creating custom dolls. There are various head sizes, clothing options, etc. You can make celebrities, family members, whatever. ("Amigurumi" is the art of crocheting cute little stuffed toys, so the "AmiguruMe" name is a play on that.) I put the book on my Amazon wishlist then pretty much forgot about it until a copy arrived on my doorstep near my birthday. (Thanks, Mom!)

It took me a while to decide which president to start with. I wanted one with some kind of distinctive feature that would be easy to express in yarn. I also wanted it to be a president I liked. Lincoln was an obvious choice, but I rarely go for the obvious choices, plus I was a little intimidated by his beard and hat. Taft is always a favorite, but the instructions in AmiguruME don't include techniques for making a more corpulent body, and I didn't want to figure it out on my first attempt. Chester Arthur would be fun, especially with all the possibilities for different pants, but again, I was intimidated by the facial hair. So I settled on another of my favorites: Warren G. Harding. I know, I know: I do too much Harding (that's what she said). Sorry. But he seemed like he would be pretty straightforward, plus he has distinctive eyebrows. (John Oliver described them as "mozzarella sticks covered in...hair.")

On Christmas afternoon, once the kids were busily engaged in their new toys, I sat down to create mine. Although the book walked me through each step, I did make some modifications.

The book gives instructions for a short, wide male head or a long, narrow male head. Harding seems to have a long, wide head, so I went with the short/wide one but added a couple rows to make it longer. I also added a few stitches to create a more prominent chin.

For about a day, all I had was the head and an armless torso. My kids thought it looked like a creepy baby (they weren't wrong) but I thought it looked like the Shah of Iran.

(Frankly, even the finished product looks like him, but I'm trying not to think about that because it's supposed to be Harding, dammit!)

Within a couple days I had added the arms and legs and whatnot.

I do wish the book had given more detail/examples for embroidering the face and creating the hair. Those were the two most difficult parts, and also the features that really make a doll like this. It took me four attempts to get the hair "right," and I wasn't quite able to get the Harding frown down. Still, I think it came out pretty well.

I gave him a lovely hand-crafted wool suit (with removable jacket!) and a bright blue tie to jazz things up a bit.

My daughter asked me this morning what I'm going to do with the doll now, and that's a great question. She said, "It seems like such a waste to spend all that time on it and then just let it sit around." I'm not sure if she's hinting that she wants it or wants me to get rid of it. For now it'll probably sit on my Shelf O' Random Presidential Crap, next to my Hoover bobblehead and Woodrow Wilson puppet. After all, art doesn't need to have a purpose, right?

Presidentress Christmas Carol VIDEOS: 2016

'Tis the season for me to create a president-themed Christmas carol. And I tried. I really did. I have a full verse of a song about William Howard Taft set to the tune of "Good King Wenceslas," but honestly, that's all I'm ever going to have. It's a hard song to deal with, and this has been a crappy year, and I just don't have the inspiration in me.

So...basically, I don't have a new one this year. But what I do have might be even better: Videos of Grover Cleveland and Warren Harding singing the songs I previously wrote for them. You can find my posts (and lyrics) about "Cleveland the Creepy POTUS" here, and "Warren G. Harding" here.

Or you can just watch the videos.

If you're the kind of person who gets really excited about things like these videos, be sure to check out my Holiday Gift Guide, because there's probably stuff on there that you'd like.

Grover Cleveland, Warren Harding, and I wish you a very merry holiday season. Be safe and have fun. Those guys sure did.

Hamilton in Chicago: Review

Shirt for Hamilton Chicago
(for the uninitiated: That's the Chicago flag)

Like many others, I've been obsessed with Hamilton: An American Musical since the cast recording was released last year. (Actually, I was obsessed with it even before the recording was released; there just wasn't as much to listen to.)

A few months after the show opened on Broadway, my parents gave me my birthday gift: a trip for my mom and me to fly to New York and see the show! Sadly, we had underestimated how expensive tickets would be. (We knew they would be a lot, but didn't realize we'd literally need to sell a body part.) Shortly after postponing the New York trip until "sometime later," plans were announced for the opening of the show in Chicago. It meant we'd have to wait for it, but it would likely be less expensive, especially since travel would only require the cost of gas and parking, no hotel or flights necessary.

When tickets for Hamilton Chicago went on sale back in June, I dedicated the whole morning to getting some. I sat there with my phone, my iPad, and my computer (with two different browsers open) desperate to snag some tickets. I wound up scoring two seats for a couple days before my birthday.

On November 22, my mom and I headed into the city to finally catch the show!

I had been worried about two things: 1) That after having listened to the soundtrack hundreds of times, the show itself wouldn't be as exciting as it would have been otherwise, and 2) That I wouldn't like the performers in Chicago as much as I liked the voices of the original cast.

I needn't have worried. As to worry #1: There is so much more to the show than just the music. I had read about things like the rotating stage and the dramatic death scene (spoiler alert: Hamilton dies), and both really brought the story to life, so to speak. Even just the body language and facial expressions of the actors added so much to the music. Although there are funny/amusing parts to the soundtrack, the humor comes through much more in person, as does the drama. The show was amazing, and everything I had hoped it would be.

As to worry #2, the cast was fantastic. There were a couple parts I didn't enjoy quite as much as the originals, and a couple that I thought were better. Mostly the cast members were different, but just as enjoyable. I'll explore that a little more, and keep in mind that I'm mainly basing my opinions against the cast recording, which means I'm not really comparing apples to apples. It's my only basis for comparison, though.

Now, Lin-Manuel Miranda is a genius. A true genius. I would have loved to have seen him perform in New York. But (I know this is sacrilegious) I don't love his voice/singing. Miguel Cervantes, who plays the lead role in Chicago, was probably better technically. Cervantes didn't blow me away (so to speak) but his performance was solid.

Angelica (Karen Olivo) and Laurens/Phillip (José Ramos) were also comparable to their New York counterparts. They didn't stand out as being significantly more or less impressive.

Aaron Burr (Joshua Henry) really grew on me. My initial reaction was that he was fine. I had nothing to complain about, but I didn't think he really stood out. Over the course of the show, though, he impressed me more. The pinnacle for him (in my opinion) was in "The Room Where it Happens." I've always liked that song, but Henry's phenomenal performance made me love it even more. When it ended I even thought to myself, "Good god." It was stunning.

There were two actors who stood out immediately, from the opening number, as something special. The first was Jonathan Kirkland as George Washington. I'm not going to say he was better than Christopher Jackson because I love Christopher Jackson, but Kirkland's voice was deep and rich and he played the role beautifully.

The second was Ari Afsar, who plays Eliza. Now, I'll admit, Eliza is probably my least favorite character (just from a vocal standpoint) on the original soundtrack. I've always felt like Phillipa Soo was a bit shrill, and it made me think of her parts as kind of whiny. In contrast, I found Afsar's voice to be lovely and compelling, and I enjoyed listening to her. Her performance of "Burn" was powerful and moving, and (again, sacrilegious to admit) it was the first time I truly enjoyed that song.

In Chicago King George is played by Alexander Gemignani. Now, I can't really compare his version to Jonathan Groff's because so much of King George involves body language and expressions, but I can say that he was immensely enjoyable. His voice and (singing) style were quite different from Groff's, but hilarious nonetheless. We loved him.

As I mentioned, there were a couple roles I didn't enjoy as much. Lafayette/Jefferson (Chris De'Sean Lee) was good. His acting and expressions were great, but his voice and overall character paled compared to Daveed Diggs (based on the soundtrack and the clips I've seen). Mulligan/Madison (Wallace Smith) also didn't quite live up to expectations. Even though the parts are relatively small, I really enjoy Okieriete Onaodowan's performances on the soundtrack. As Mulligan, his voice is deep and gravelly. As Madison, it's deep and refined. Smith, on the other hand, was sort of unremarkable. He wasn't bad at all; he just didn't stand out for me. I felt like Madison got a bit lost in the whole thing.

But even with the couple roles that seemed a bit underwhelming, I have no complaints at all. Seeing the show on stage was an enthralling experience, and I recommend it to everyone. (Duh, right?) Don't take out a second mortgage to get tickets, but if you have the chance don't throw away your shot at seeing this show.