Friday, July 28, 2017

Presidential Anagrams: Mind Can Quash Joy

I don't want to sound like a big nerd or anything, but I love anagrams: words or phrases that are made by rearranging other words/phrases. Since I also love presidents, it seemed natural to create anagrams of all the presidents' names, and I'm going to share them with you now.

There are some rules and guidelines to anagramming. Each letter in the original word or phrase (or name, in this case) needs to be used exactly once in the resulting anagram. Punctuation can be added as needed. There are anagram programs that let you type something in and then compute anagrams for you. That's great and all, but it's also no fun. I did these with pen and paper, although I did use a program to double-check my results. 

I feel that anagrams need to make some kind of sense. They can be silly, but they have to sound like a somewhat reasonable phrase or sentence---they can't just be random jumbles of words. The resulting phrases don't necessarily need to have anything in common with the subject, but the very best ones will. Several of these presidential anagrams do describe their namesakes, but I think my favorites are James Buchanan and Warren G. Harding...and not just because they're kind of dirty.

For the purposes of the presidential anagrams, I chose to include/not include commonly used middle names/initials (or longer/shorter forms of first names) depending on what worked best. Some names, especially those that include a disproportionate amount of vowels or consonants, can be really tough (I'm looking at you, John Kennedy and Barack Obama), but I made it work. John Tyler was nearly impossible.

This list is by no means exhaustive, but they're the best I came up with for each president. Without further ado:

George Washington
Throwing a Nose Egg
John Adams
Oh, Sand Jam!
Thomas Jefferson
Fresh Foam on Jets
Moth Jar Offenses
Mothers: Jeans Off!
Major Hen Offsets
James Madison
Join Mad Seams
James Monroe
No Ammo Jeers
Mojo Nears Me
John Quincy Adams
Mind Can Quash Joy
Andrew Jackson
Scan Down a Jerk
Nerd Owns a Jack
Martin Van Buren
Invert Urban Man
Vain Number Rant
Rent Nirvana Bum
William Henry Harrison
Hire Slimy Iron Narwhal
John Tyler
Her N.Y. Jolt
James Polk
Joke Lamps
Zachary Taylor
A Crazy Holy Rat
Try a Lazy Roach
Millard Fillmore
Mild Moral Filler
LOL Mermaid Frill
Franklin Pierce
Rank-File Prince
Can Fire Per Kiln
James Buchanan
A Man’s Jean Chub
Abraham Lincoln
Born Llama Chain
Banal Calm Rhino
Andrew Johnson
Horn Down Jeans
Jar Shown No End
Ulysses S. Grant
Stern Ugly Sass
Stern Guy’s Lass
Rutherford Hayes
Here For Thursday
James Garfield
Smear Jedi Flag
Chester Arthur
Truth Searcher
Grover Cleveland
Revolver Clanged
Benjamin Harrison
Major Brains in Hen
William McKinley
Wily Camel in Milk
Theodore Roosevelt
Lose Over Teeth Odor
Other Elves’ Toe Odor
Love the Rooster Ode
The Overdose Looter
Do the Elves Root Ore?
William Taft

William Howard Taft
Will T.: I am Fat

Wow, I Hit Fat Mallard
Thwart a Mild Ol’ Waif
Woodrow Wilson
Wow, I Drown Solo
Worn Solo Widow
Wow, Indoor Owls!
Warren G. Harding
Erring Hard Wang
Calvin Coolidge
Loving Iced Cola
Herbert Hoover
Berth Over Hero
Franklin Roosevelt

Franklin D. Roosevelt
No Evil Snorkel Fart

Flavor Lets One Drink
Stoner Killed For Van
Harry S. Truman
Yarn Hurts Ram
Starry Ham Run
Hurry Man’s Art
Dwight Eisenhower
Dig the Wiener Show
Hero Widens Weight
He Is Downright Wee
John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Tend Zinfandel, Jerky Hog
Lyndon Baines Johnson
Oh, Enjoy Non-Bland Sins
Richard Nixon
Our Hind Rhinos Climax
Gerald Ford
Frog Ladder
James Carter
Rams a Reject
Ronald Reagan
A Renal Dragon
George Bush
Oh, Gee! Grubs!
William Clinton
Lilt a Mini Clown
I Am Wilt Lincoln
George W. Bush
Where Bugs Go
Barack Obama
Am A Kabob Car
Donald Trump
Damn Turd Pol
Old Rant Dump

Because anagrams have to include exactly the same letters as the original name, there are some near-misses I couldn't include in the chart but that I'll list here because they're too good not to:

Thomas Jefferson almost becomes "Major Offenses"
William Henry Harrison almost becomes "Him: An Ill War Hero"
William Clinton almost becomes "Illicit Woman"

If this inspires you to create some presidential anagrams of your own (or if, by some chance, you already had) please share any good ones! 

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