Friday, February 11, 2022

Harding's Love Letters, 21st-Century Style

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, which means you surely have one thing on your mind: Warren G. Harding. 

A couple years ago, I created some printable valentines based on Harding's love poems. This year I decided to kick it up a notch by having some artificial intelligence software expand on Harding's ode.

Below is the text that I entered of Harding's poem. (Caution: It's steamy!)

I love your poise

Of perfect thighs

When they hold me

in paradise …

I love the rose

Your garden grows

Love seashell pink

That over it glows

I love to suck

Your breath away

I love to cling —

There long to stay …

I love you garb’d

But naked more

Love your beauty

To thus adore …

I love you when

You open eyes

And mouth and arms

And cradling thighs …


Here is what the AI spit out. I removed some redundancies and cleaned up the stanzas a bit, but this is what Harding would produce today if he were a robot:

I love the half grin

On your serene face

Your eyes the sweet blue

Of a boy …

I love the roses

Bumping upon your hips …

I love your blonde hair

Draped in cloud

I love your dewy hair

And all your surfaces

I love your wrinkles and hairs

That together give you an enchanting illusion

Of grace …

I love to wake

Sapphiring in the sun

And clouds

I love you in your nighties …

I love the way you start to falter

With your smile

And your touch …

I love your memories

Of everything I’ve ever done, said, or loved

And how you’ll never let them leave you

And how I’ll never forget them,

Or forget you.

And I will hold this in.

With the crescendo

Of your breathing

And smiling eyes

I love to want to be

With you

Now and forever


The AI isn't quite as risque as Harding himself, but it got surprisingly touching at the end. 

If you're struggling to find the perfect words to convey your love, just give the object of your affection Harding's original poem or the 21st-century remake. That should do the trick. 

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